You may have noticed I changed the layout around here. You see, I used to use the “Crazy.Beautiful.Life” as the title, and I bought crazybeautifullife.org and intended to move everything over there because my life was apparently so crazy, and beautiful. The truth is though, I’ve gotten pretty lame. I don’t party like I used to and have absolutely no desire to, and I don’t really do anything so crazy. (Unless you count publishing a book in under a month – that’s kind of crazy, right?)
So in a fit of layout ADD (which tends to strike me once a month) I changed the layout, and reverted back to the actual domain. You know, howmanyfrogs.com. I bought this site because it was intended to be a catalog of my dating adventures, and I guess in a way it has been. You can read through the archives all about Eurymakos, Zack, and Mike, which are the three major guys as long as I’ve owned this domain. (Fun fact, I actually blogged about Eurymakos before he was my boyfriend/ex-boyfriend and he actually let me use his name back then, if fact, he encouraged me to…)
I guess it leads me to my current predicament though, how many frogs do I have kiss before I find the one that I can be with for a significant amount of time? I’m 28 years old, and I’ve pretty much done all the solo questing possible. It’s time for a partner to come help and level me up. I thought that Eurymakos was that, but it turns out all his preaching of independence is really code word for “selfish asshole”. (I’ll have to remember that for the next relationship.)
The biggest problem I’m having is I have no desire to put any effort into a new relationship. I’ve reached the point where I’m comfortably numb on the prospect of starting up a new relationship with someone. I’ve always kind of looked at relationships like this: either you get married, or you break up – there’s really only two outcomes from any relationship you enter. Unfortunately, all of mine have ended up break ups. That means the pattern will most likely continue that way because in all my relationships, the common denominator is me. (Seriously, that’s how it works in my brain.) It’s not that I think I will be a crazy cat lady or something, but I think I’m falling back into that place that I was prior to Mike where I was okay being alone for the rest of my life – because putting effort into a relationship was too much to ask.
Even with that though, I still know that my 5 year plans includes settling down with someone – so I suppose I can go back to the whole “how many frogs” theme at this point in time, and spend a little more time writing those adventures. So, welcome back frog prince! Hope I meet you soon!