I’m going to tell you guys the story of how the boyfriend and I hooked up, and there’s absolutely no doubt in my mind that he could write it better than I do (in fact, that is a thinly veiled challenge for him to write it from his point of view) but I want to write it out all the same.
I started working for the company I’m currently at in October of 2011 – it was a good move for me because the company I was at before was rather horrible and I pretty much dreaded going to work every day. The company I’m at now consists of people around my age and a large number of people I respect and love working with – but that wasn’t always the case because when I first started, was when things were really starting to get bad with he-who-shall-not-be-named.
Apparently I was fairly quiet when I first started at the company and in a strange twist of fate, the only people I really talked to both ended up leaving the company in late November, early December. However, before they left, we went to the company Christmas party which was in a way, my coming out party there – because we ended up going across the street to Jimmy’s for Rock-N-Roke. The entire night was fun for everyone who was there – but the important part about this night was that it was the first night I really confided in the boy about things that were going on in my life, and he returned the favor during a cigarette outside, and from that moment on, he became my work best friend. (To this date he swears I was flirting with him that night – I totally disagree.)
From November until June, we were pretty much inseparable at the office – we always got lunch together, and most nights he would give me a ride home. The rides became our unwind time, and we would end up sitting in his car talking about random things going on in our life while we chain smoked cigarettes. Most of my conversation centered around my inability to let he-who-shall-not-be-named go, and his conversations revolved around his inability to actually be interested in anyone for more than a date or two. The comfort level between us began to steadily increase and then in June, everything changed based on a series of events that I don’t even really know how got set in motion.
One of the last rides home he gave me, we were sitting in the parking lot of my new complex discussing my lack of sex-life. For a while, he had been harping on me about how I needed a rebound – that I just needed to go out, pick a guy, and do my thing. Initially, there were a litany of rules I was supposed to follow – for instance, no one from Herndon, and no one from work. However, this conversation, he (obviously frustrated by my lack of listening to his sage advice) blurted out something along the lines of, “Seriously? I’m about to take you upstairs and offer myself just so that you do it.” At the time, I giggled at the idea, and nothing really came of it.
The next week, I went and purchased my car. Obviously, with such a monumental purchase one of the first text messages I sent was to him. The only thing I got back from him was a “:(“. I teased him about the fact that he didn’t have to be my driver, and this was a good thing – to which he responded back that he had gotten used to giving me a ride home, and it was his unwind time. I promised him that we’d get beers at the bar across the street to unwind, and the following Monday we did just that. During this happy hour, he ended up telling me a story, which I will not repeat, but it led me to diagnosing him with a case of the “I date too many women who I’m not interested in because I’m looking for something more but they are all kind of ditzy and not someone I would want more with so I end up not really enjoying my time with them.” I proceeded to inform him that he was indeed looking for a relationship, and the next girl he hooked up with he was probably going to end up in some sort of relationship with. He retorted that I was off my rocker, and he was just looking for someone to get to know.
The other thing that happened with me getting a car is that it made me mobile – which meant I could go see Mike in Fairfax – which is exactly what I did that Monday night after happy hour. With Mike, I had a moment where if he had made a move on me I totally would have gone with it – but he didn’t because he couldn’t cheat on his girlfriend. While texting Mike about it after I had already left, there had been some sort of joke regarding anal sex – and the next Tuesday at a happy hour with coworkers – I relayed my Monday night events to the then-work-best-friend. At the time, he was going through a self-induced dry spell and he started teasing me about how I wasn’t allowed to talk about anal because it was getting him excited – which of course, made me tease him more through text messages while we conversed with other co-workers.
What still amazes me to this day is the fact that somewhere in all that teasing, instead of it being teasing, it became serious – and that night when I dropped him back at the office, he asked me to lean in closer to him, and after a brief hesitation on my part, I did. If I’m honest with myself, like I always am when I write in this blog, I knew the minute that my lips touched his that it wasn’t going to be some random rebound hook up. He wasn’t going to be a one night stand, and he definitely wasn’t going to just let me use him to get over someone else. In fact, I knew the minute we first kissed that I was totally screwed, because he was already one my closest confidants, best friends, and generally awesome.
All that ended up happening that night was a pretty hefty make out session, and we both went our separate ways – and in the four days until Friday night (which was my birthday party) we ended up doing pretty minimal actual touching – just teasing. (Lots, and lots of teasing.) To be honest, I don’t really remember most of my birthday night as many people were bringing me shots, but I do remember one moment of the night with crystal clarity and I think that’s when we both realized we were fucked.
You see, we had been sneaking away from people all night to make out in secluded corners – and at some point in the night, my friend Thomas ended up coming out and catching us. I don’t know what he said, but it made me reply something smart assed about how it’s about time I had a rebound from he-who-shall-not-be-named – and Thomas laughed at me. After he walked inside, I remember turning around and looking at the boyfriend, and he had this look on his face that I had never really seen before. It was kind of puzzled, kind of worried, and kind of wondering. He asked me if he was really just a rebound, and looking into his eyes, I didn’t have the heart to tell him yes – especially since I already knew in my heart the answer was no.
“No, you are not just rebound.”
Now here we are, two months later in some sort of something, but the moral of this story is that you should always listen to your best friends when they tell you something about your life. You see, he was right in that I just needed to get under someone else, because I hardly think about he-who-shall-not-be-named anymore, and I definitely don’t want him back. And I was right too, he was looking for someone to be with in more than a coffee date manner, he just hadn’t connected the dots in his own head yet. ;)