That’s right people – I’m proposing a writing challenge to all of you out there – all inspired by my totally screwed up view on the world.

You see, I dislike Disney movies.  Sure, I watched them as a child like every other girl, and I’m pretty sure I wanted to be Ariel for the majority of my formative years.  (Come on, who doesn’t want to be a mermaid and a Disney princess!)  But now that I’m older, I’m looking at them wondering why my parents ever let me watch them to begin with.  They teach horrible lessons to the youth of America.  Let’s review six of the most popular animated Disney Princesses and their films:

1.  Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
Let’ s be honest – this one is obvious.  Snow White ends up living with 7 men she’s not related to and basically being their servant – and she’s okay with this.

2.  Cinderella
Cinderella sneaks out of the house to go to a party against her step-mothers wishes, and meets Prince Charming – who she lies to about who she is – and yet he still seeks her out and eventually whisks her away from her evil step-mother.

3.  Sleeping Beauty
This one is the one that gets me the most.  Aurora falls into a deep sleep (basically a coma) and only a prince’s kiss can wake her up.  So – basically, he kisses her while she’s unable to accept or reject his kiss (which let’s be honest – some people today would call molestation at the very least), and then she marries him?  Oh Aurora.

4.  The Little Mermaid
Ariel has two problems – the first is, she’s a hoarder.  I mean, did you see her cavern of treasures?  She didn’t even know what half that shit was!  The second problem is that she gives up everything she is – everything that makes her unique, to get her man.  How could Eric love her?  She wasn’t a mermaid anymore, and she didn’t have her voice.  Redonkulous!

5.  Beauty and the Beast
Although Beauty and the Beast is my favorite Disney film based on Jerry Orbach’s rousing performance as the candelabra - Belle is certainly a frustrating heroine.  She is kept as a prisoner by a BEAST, and somehow manages to change him into a decent human being?  This is just fodder for all those girls who stay with abusive husbands saying, “He can change!  I know who he really is on the inside!”

6.  Aladdin
Jasmine isn’t actually so bad here.  She’s kinda spunky, and basically just wants to be able to pick her own husband.  However, who she ends up picking is a guy who lied to get everything he wanted (her).  After she found out how bad he lied – she should have kicked his ass to the curb – because if he’s willing to lie about who he is, what isn’t he willing to lie about?

And that’s just the tip of the iceburg, you have the Fox and the Hound which teaches us that segregation and racism are okay in the end and Mulan, who totally disobeys her parents and risks her life (and lies!).

The Challenge:

Rewrite one of the Disney stories in short story form as you imagine they should happen today.  For instance, instead of Cinderella getting Prince Charming – she is grounded for sneaking out.  Alternately, Aurora, once she wakes up thanks her prince, but decides to live on her own instead of marrying him.  (Or she could have him arrested for date rape!)   The possibilities are endless!

When you’re done – post the link in the comments and I’ll pick the top five to be voted on by the masses.  If you don’t have a blog of your own, and want to participate, shoot me your story at stephanie.dorman@gmail.com and I’ll post it for you here.  Thanks!

Entries close:  Monday, August 20th.

Enjoy!