I Wish The Zombie Apocalypse Would Happen

I spend a lot of time wishing something like the zombie apocalypse would actually happen.  Really, I’ll take any sort of disaster like Yellowstone erupting, a massive flood that destroys half the world, or anything that will throw humanity into mortal peril.

Part of this is because I’m a cocky SOB and I totally think I could survive any major event like that as long as I had enough warning to survive the initial attack.  For instance, a nuclear bomb hitting D.C might be a problem because I’m not entirely sure that I would survive the initial blast out here in Herndon.  However – in a situation where I had adequate warning like a Yellowstone eruption or the zombie apocalypse I would totally be one of the survivors.  In fact, I bet that I could actually manage to keep most of my friends and family alive too.  (My brother would probably be toast because he’s all the way out in California but really, who’s idea was it to move away from the girl who spent her entire life studying the worst disasters ever?)

Yeah, this going on everywhere? I could totally survive it.

One of the reasons I wish for this is purely selfish – in a situation like that, your money, your credit, it no longer matters.  The material things that people care so much about become more of a burden that will hold people back instead of things that will propel them into the future.  Therefore, all the mistakes I made with money over the years wouldn’t matter.  It’d be whatever I could find, not whatever my stupid credit score allows.  Oh, that multi-million dollar ski chalet in the mountains?  It’s my new hide out and no one is going to stop me from taking it.  (Y’all can totally meet me there though!  The passcode is “I managed to get all the way here so let me the fuck in.”)

For fun we could make hilarious snowmen like the ones above.

The other reason is based on my admitted limited view of humanity.  There are so many people out there who are so selfish and callous and only care about themselves and their goals – and to watch everything go up in smoke, or snow, or to see the reactions on their face when all the people around them are suddenly undead would be worth it.  I mean think of the most horrible person you know and then think of karma bitch slapping them with a huge tsunami wave carrying them away.  And even if they did manage to survive, it would be like post 9/11 where everyone was nicer to either other because people all off a sudden actually realized something like that could happen – where they could lose their loved ones in an instant.  Think about what people would think and how they would act if it was a world wide event!   People would be so much… nicer.

Except this guy. He’d probably still be a douche.

So what do you guys think – are you on team “Massive Disaster 2012″?  If so, what are you rooting for?  Tsunami?  Volcano?  Nuclear Winter?  Zombie Apocalypse?

Go ahead and take this little logo and place it on your own blog – and comment with your own hopes and dreams when it comes to how the world is going to end – and how you plan on surviving it.

Oh yeah, I’m rooting for volcanos or zombies.

  • http://www.lostinidaho.me Brandon

    I vote for world war 3!

    And I’m in the perfect place to survive. I just need to overpower one mormon family, and I’ll have a basement full of supplies. 7 years worth of food should be enough, and books galore!!

    • doitalone

      HA!  I might have to chill with you then because I don’t think outside of DC is the best place to be during WW3.  

    • Brandon P.

      Haha, I smell a ‘repopulate the Earth’ joke brewing…

      • doitalone

        No – remember, I’m afraid of girlfriends.  HOWEVER, if she happens to unfortunately bite it during WW3 for whatever reason, I’m totally your girl!

  • http://she-says.com/ Emily

    I am ready for the apocalypse, like you I know I would survive as well. I’m down for the Zombies though, I would love to see the faces of some of the people I know, BAM in your face!! lol I loved this post, thanks for the entertainment *wink* :)

    • doitalone

      We should create a survivors group, make a rendezvous point somewhere in the middle of the nation. LOL  

  • Ariel

    I’m impressed and also rather frightened by your depth of thought and planning for this–since I will be one of the extras killed instantaneously when the zombie apocalypse hits, I wish you and the other poor suckers best of luck! ;)

    • doitalone

      Dammit Ariel – didn’t it give you an option to link back to your site when it posted this comment?  I’m trying to figure out disqus.  

      Also, I’d totally save both you and Ken.  That way I’d have multiple options when it came to repopulating the universe. :-P

  • Swbarwick

    I often wonder the same. Just the other day, I was discussing with my sister what type of damage would Yellowstone do to the eastern side of the states, and we both agreed it would be catastrophic. I’m hoping for a zombie apocalypse myself. Anyway, I enjoyed stopping by your page!

    • http://www.howmanyfrogs.com/ Stephanie Dorman

      Yellowstone would pretty much destroy the states they say – possibly the world if there’s enough ash.  The discovery channel did a really awesome documentary style movie about it a couple years back you should check out if you’re into that kind of thing.

      And yes, I love, love, love zombies.  That’s what I’m hoping for too!