Like most people my age before I fall asleep every night I tend to turn on the Daily Show and the Colbert Report. Typically, I agree with everything they say, either actually agree with Jon Stewart or agree in jest with Stephen Colbert. Typically, I actually enjoy the Colbert Report more, but I find that lately The Daily Show has been on it’s A game, and I enjoyed their introduction bits and interviews more than the Colbert Report.
That was, until last night. Last night, Jon Stewart introduced the Daily Show which a bit about the marriage equality act in New Jersey, and then followed it up with a bit on the fact that Virginia is trying to mandate a transvaginal ultrasound on women who want to have abortions. In theory this is so they can see their little fetus growing inside of them, form an attachment to it, and not want to abort. I’m not sure that I agree with it, but I really didn’t agree with the way that Jon Stewart ran his bit last night. Before I rant, watch for yourself.
You’ll notice that Jon Stewart equated the transvaginal wand, and the fact that they would have to get this before an abortion to rape a couple times – right? Well, I’ve never been raped – but I have had an abortion and I have had a transvaginal ultrasound, and I’m going to go ahead and tell you that the abortion itself is closer to rape than the transvaginal ultrasound than getting what pretty much feels like a dildo stuck in you. Also, I’m not entirely sure I disagree with the idea of doing a transvaginal ultrasound before you get an abortion either, because I remember when I got mine, they didn’t do an ultrasound and I always wondered how they knew how many weeks and all that – I mean, don’t you have to see what’s in there to know what to do?
Let me explain, and before you go any further, this blog post is not for the faint of heart, but you all are probably going to read it anyway. I just felt the need to warn you.
When I was 17 and on the pill, I was also on antibiotics for a case of strept throat or something like that. One of the most interesting things about antibiotics is that they mess with your oral contraceptive without you knowing it. It makes it ineffective – but doctors rarely check to see if you are on birth control or warn you of this fact before they prescribe broad spectrum antibiotics for any sore throat, fever or scratch you may have. Because of this, I ended up pregnant from my boyfriend at the time. I won’t get into the horrid story of how telling him went – but I will tell you that for some reason I refused to tell my parents. I had decided that I was going to handle it myself and that was that.
I looked into private adoption, but no one wants a mixed baby. I looked into regular adoption but no one would pay my medical bills and I was so close to turning 18… so end the end I made an incredibly selfish decision that I regret to this day, and decided that I was going to abort the fetus. (I won’t even get into the fact that I think the recent miscarriage was punishment from a higher power for this act because of my RH- bloodtype.) Unfortunately, since I was 17 and doing this in Virginia without my parents consent… I actually couldn’t do it in Virginia, I was required to go to Maryland. I’m thinking to myself, not a problem, I have a car and some friends, and it was actually cheaper in Maryland ($250 as opposed to $750) than it was in Virginia.
Do you know why it was cheaper in Maryland?
Because when you’re under 18, you are allowed to get an abortion without parental consent, but by law, you are not allowed to be given anesthesia. In Virginia, I would have been knocked out unable to know what was going on – in Maryland, I was given a Tylenol 3 and told to close my eyes and squeeze a stress ball when it hurt. I’m going to assume that most women who get abortions in the United States are put under, in fact, most of the people that I’ve talked to about it have been and don’t remember the experience.
I’m going to go ahead and tell you what it’s like right now, you know exactly what it feels like. It feels like they are ripping your soul out of you. The beginning isn’t that bad because it feels just like a pap smear and then they start the vacuum. (Yes, they basically vacuum the inside of your uterus.) I want you to go home, and take the strongest setting on your vacuum and put the hose up against your arm – you know that feeling when your skin is being pulled up and how if you leave it on there for a minute it hurts? Imagine that times 1000. They are ripping out your insides. This is no joke – it is the most painful think I’ve ever experienced and I’ve broken bones and have arthritis in my knees. You know those cramps you complain about ladies on your periods? Multiply those by 100 – and you might start to understand the pain that comes from having this done.
Jon Stewart, I’m here to tell you that the transvaginal wand is no where NEAR as invasive, as painful, as mentally debilitating as the actual process of getting an abortion. Please do not act like this transvaginal wand is the worst thing that someone who is about to have their insides ripped out of them is going to face. Go ahead and say it’s a shady underhanded trick by the Republicans and that the government should not require this kind of procedure (which is true) and go ahead and say that they are all a bunch of hypocritical asshats, but don’t act like the act of an abortion is nothing and not 100 times more invasive than the wand. And don’t compare it to rape. It doesn’t even come close.
Stephanie is a 27 year old living outside of Washington, DC.If you enjoyed this post, please consider leaving a comment or subscribing to the RSS feed. Thank you, and have a wonderful day!
Kudos to you putting yourself out there. Comedy central is still satire even if its based on true events.
I still stand by my angle / approach of it being a matter of ‘choice’, esp in the context of cases where it is not a medically necessary procedure.
While I agree with you that using the term rape was over the top. Stewart is doing SATIRE, what those asshats in the Virginia Legislature are doing is going to affect real people, with real intrusive and medically unneeded procedures that cost real money. I don’t know of one woman who likes going to an OB/GYN appointment ever. To have it mandated by a bunch of asshat old white men just pisses me off!
And the personhood bill? Life begins at conception? Well then, I want my Social Security and Medicare 10 months earlier than I am eligible now. And I guess that means the 20 years old and 2 months is the new drinking age. And to be very very callous, I think it means that every single woman in Virginia who has a miscarraige at any time of the year gets a $700 personal tax deduction on their Virginia State income taxes for a dependent.
Stupid asses! The Republicans in Virginia are going to lose the women’s votes over this, you wait and see! And this is from someone who worked for a Republican elected official for 12 years.
I’m not arguing these bills are bullshit, I just think a lot of people forget what an abortion really is when they debate this stuff – and to compare the ultrasound to rape was just too much.
Steph, what you are describing is a D & C, and women have them for all sorts of reasons besides abortion. I had one years ago, and I agree they are pretty painful.
RIGHT?! They put me in twilight to have the IUD taken out – I can imagine it’s the same thing.
Don’t forget getting to drive in the carpool lane while pregnant, Steph.
Oh , good one, I hadn’t thought of that. If they pass this stupid bill, I dare the Va State Troopers to give a ticket to nayone who is pregnant and drives the HOV lanes on I66.
The act of getting an abortion is a difficult enough decision – I didn’t need someone trying to guilt me into keeping a child that I was unable to care for and medical bills that I could never have paid. It was bad enough that I was verbally attacked by protesters using their free speech rights as I walked in to the clinic. I cried. I cried because they made me feel like less of a human being for making one of the most difficult decisions in my life.
There is no way that I would compare using a commercial vacuum to what they use in the doctor’s office. Was it a comfortable experience for me? No, of course not. Was it the most painful thing I have ever experienced? No, no physically anyway. Oh, and I was awake for my procedure as well. I have actually never heard of someone being put under before.
There are already waiting periods in place to make sure that you ‘have the time to think things over’ – why would I have needed to be subjected to an image on a screen or a heartbeat on a monitor? How is that ANY better then the people in the street calling me names and trying to guilt me in to never setting foot in the clinic in the first place? If you really think it is that important, make it an option for the individual. Forcing it upon them in completely unnecessary.
Where I went, they were able to calculate how far along I was based on when I had my last cycle. They also showed me visual aides on where my fetus was in terms of size and overall growth. That was more than enough information for me.
I don’t regret my decision. I am grateful that I live in a state where abortion is legal. Was it a selfish act? Yes, but so is having a baby you damn well know that you can’t take care of – there are two sides to that coin.
In Maryland, there wasn’t a waiting period for me, I just made the appointment for a Saturday morning and walked in. Yes, there were protesters outside – but I didn’t really let them effect me any more than the decision I made was already effecting me.
I find it hard to believe you’ve never heard of being put under for it, because most of the women that I’ve talked to have been at least twilighted for the procedure. And while I’m glad for you it wasn’t a painful experience, that might be the difference in doctors or technology. (Not sure when you had yours, mine was 2002.)
I had to wait 24 or 48 hours minimum, I can’t remember which. But there was a waiting period.
I honestly have never hear of people being put in even a twilight for such a procedure, especially for an IUD. I believe that I was given a local to the area, something for pain relief/swelling and something to help my uterus go back down to its normal size.
My procedure was a few years before yours, 1999.
For my IUD – they put me in twilight because they had to D&C – no strings and it was damn near embedded in my uterus wall. But in theory it’s the same procedure…
They did put some numbing agent on my cervix, but that was it, and that definitely didn’t help with the pain that I felt past the cervix. Of course, this could all have to do with pain tolerance too – not that I’m calling myself a wimp….
I agree, the numbing agent didn’t do much for me either – it was still pretty damn uncomfortable the entire way through. But I assure you, I was wide awake for the entire thing.
Well, I’ll have to revise some back taxes for any / all miscarriages / abortions that occurred against my progeny in my years living in the great commonwealth
From a UK perspective, fuck all the people (men) involved in this. Nobody thinks abortions are good but they are necessary & they should be free, easily-accessible & offered with nothing but support & emotional aftercare. This whole thing makes me sick & if the government here tried to do that I would fucking emigrate. A disgusting abuse of women.
And as for Congress holding hearing on contraception with only men on the panel? Check out this picture:
http://www.facebook.com/#!/photo.php?fbid=3248112924412&set=a.1084177467378.2014158.1314613536&type=3&theater
Also to the commenter who said abortion & having an unwanted child are equally selfish: bringing a kid into this overpopulated world instead of adopting is one of the most selfish things a person can do. Terminating an unwanted bunch of cells from one’s uterus is a medical decision & is not remotely selfish
The Daily Show is no more real news program more than The Onion is a credible news paper.
The Daily Show goes over the line all the time on all sorts of topics and always will because for the 10% they upset, the other 90% find it funny.
“Terminating an unwanted bunch of cells from one’s uterus is a medical decision & is not remotely selfish” is only true if the cells growing in the uterus is a tumor
I had a transvaginal ultrasound when, during a regular ultrasound a growth was found. It was a really large penis shaped piece of plastic, was difficult to get into my vagina, then rolled around to find the right picture. Nothing to make fun of. This was done by a very nice young girl tech, but felt terribly invasive. Nothing to laugh about.
and for anyone with a sick mind…this just hurt
I think it’s very brave of you to be so open about something so emotional and important to you.. I had heard about this when it happened to you, but never knew the details. It’s heartbreaking to hear that it affects you so much still. You’ve grown up a lot, Steph.
Here’s the the thing. I’m not sure what word should be used for “having an object shoved inside you against your will” other than rape. The choice is “have the object shoved in you” or “don’t have the abortion.” Anyhow, I think the word “rape” is being used because there isn’t really a viable alternative word for what this bill is proposing. “Forced insertion” maybe?
Well, it is pretty clear what I think. This is what Steph’s dad sent to the governor of Virginia, and yes, I told him that i was going to share this on several venues.
Subject: If you want my vote, I want your veto.
As a lifelong Republican voter in the Commonwealth of Virginia I ask that you veto the house and senate bills that attempt to redefine the beginning of life as at conception, or that require any type of sonogram, much less invasive vaginal sonograms, prior to legal abortion. In times of rampant health care cost inflation, mandating needless medical procedures is not only foolish but exacerbates the health care burden for us and our children. No one but health providers benefit from this type of radical legislative social re-engineering.
I ask this because I have reached my limit with Republican social issue advancement that marginalizes not only women but also the less privileged, and works to erode the hard fought rights secured thought the courts in the previous century. I am a classical fiscal conservative Republican with compassion for all people. If you value any future votes from me for any Republican candidate I ask you to show common sense and true leadership by righting the direction of this house with respect to social issues and veto these bills.
It’s time for the Republican party of Virginia to focus on fiscal responsibility and stop fighting to limit women’s reproductive health rights and options.
Thank you. Be courageous and be on the side of the great women of Virginia, not against them during times where our support is most needed.
Jeff Dorman
I like the way your mom rolls.
Just because an abortion is a horrifying or traumatic experience (I’m speaking as someone who’s never had one) doesn’t make an unwanted, penetrative medical procedure any less medical rape that can cause PTSD. It breaks my heart that women are forced to go through medical procedures that can be violating and/or painful, like unneeded episiotomies or c-sections to better accommodate doctor’s schedules, just because society sees us as weak or unable to make educated decisions. Women aren’t able to give informed consent because they’re told things like “We have to do x procedure now or y could happen to your baby,” like instead of being told that Pitocin has the side effects it does, women are told they need to speed things up for the baby.
I know I’m kind of rambling, I just wish that the government that’s supposed to be supporting us all could focus more on empowering both genders rather than continuing to treat women like they can’t make good choices for themselves and their potential offspring on their own and/or with their partner.
I totally agree with you on the way medicine works these days. There is too much pressure from the drug companies, schedules, etc, and it’s horrible how women (and men, don’t forget, for a lot of these issues there is a father involved too) are treated during pregnancy’s. I think the governments time would probably be better spent addressing these issues instead of what they are currently going for.
Bottom line is Steph, I have been married to your Dad for 30 years in May 2012., and perhaps that is why we have been married 30 years, because I respect him, and he respects me, and since he ain’t ever getting pregnant, he defers to me on these issues . Especially because he was there and supportive in both my pregnancies and both the birth you and your brother. And I can’t live the things that he lives, but I support him too.t