Feb
2012
The Rise of Baby Squirrels
As I expected, yesterday actually didn’t suck that bad. It’s all about readjusting your perception. Since I expected nothing to happen, what did happen was all that more awesome. I played Skyrim all night, and got woken up at 2AM from a visitor who ate macaroni and cheese and watched Bait Car with me. By the way, Bait Car criminals? You are some of the most stupid criminals I’ve ever seen on TV. Especially the one who stole the car but didn’t know how to drive – so you ran into trash cans… really?!
Lately to my site there’s been a huge influx of people searching on the words “baby squirrels”. Apparently my picture of a baby squirrel – which is the background on Zack’s laptop as well, got used on pininterest by somebody, and now everyone is coming here trying to find baby squirrels. While talking about it last night he asked me if I had blogged about my baby squirrels and I told him I hadn’t – so I decided this morning this would.
As you may know, when Zack and I were dating his nickname for me was “baby squirrel”. (In fact, when he’s really drunk he still calls me that.) When we broke up and I was all depressed over us, there happened to be a really fat squirrel that would constantly come up to my door and wait for me to feed it. I spent three weeks feeding that fat squirrel, and then when Zack and I started talking again the squirrel kind of went away. Sometimes I would still see it, but it didn’t come around nearly as often as it used to. I figured it figured I didn’t really need it anymore.
Well, a week or so ago, I saw the fat squirrel again, only it wasn’t as fat as it was before begging for food on the deck. I put some out there for it (muffins, squirrels love muffins) and then I walked out my front door to walk to work – and wouldn’t you know, hanging out on my front step were three baby squirrels. What’s more, the baby squirrels weren’t afraid of me, they were just kind of looking up at me like, “So, are you going to give us food?”
I went back inside to get some more muffin, and gave it to the baby squirrels. After they got their little paws on the muffin, they ran under my front step.
You see, a month before Zack and I broke up, we dug up one of the bushes in the front because when you park in the driveway the bush kept hitting your car. This caused there to be enough dirt missing that the squirrels can actually get up under the concrete that is my walkway and allows them to create a nice little home there. So basically, because I fed the fat mother squirrel on my deck for so long, I have baby squirrels living under my front step. I’m assuming she must have put them there, and told them in a squirrel way that they shouldn’t be afraid of me – because I’m one million times their size and normally animals would run away if they see humans. (The chipmonks that live under my parents front stoop certainly do.)
Zack still hasn’t seen the baby squirrels, apparently they don’t come out for him. I’ll try to get a picture though, because they are adorable! Brown with little white stripes on their back. So cute!
I really need to get a baby squirrel tattoo. Apparently I really am the queen of the squirrels.
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