Yesterday I came across the most amazing thing I had ever seen on facebook. Once of my friends (and sadly, I forget who at the moment otherwise I would give you credit for this) had posted a taxidermy cowboy squirrel flashing his nuts. I was immediately smitten with the little fellow and begged everyone on my friends list to buy it for me because I was too broke to put at bid in. (At the time, the bid was only $170 – since then it has skyrocketed to $280 and there’s three days left.) Unfortunately, none of the bidders are my friends, so it’s unlikely that this squirrel will be added to my squirrel army at the house – but it got me thinking about ridiculous things that you can buy on Ebay.
Below, you can find my list of the 5 most ridiculous things that I saw in a 10 minute search.
5. See Through Clear Water Proof Chastity Belt Device Can Use Bathroom In It H601T
Yes – for only $21.51 – you too can own a see through water proof chastity belt for the one you love. This means you can apparently take a swim in it – and it also allows you to go to the bathroom. The ad says it’s coming from a “sexy stuff” store – but honestly I see nothing sexy about this:
’4. 10 JUMBO RACCOON BACULUM BONE gag gift unique penis art Decore Crafts gothic
Yes – you too can own a raccoon penis bone! These little guys look like toothpicks and since in the title it says “gag gift” I can only assume the gag is when your friend thinks they are tooth picks and puts them inbetween their teeth and you snicker saying, “Haha, you have raccoon penis between your teeth.”
3. One Graves Vaginal Speculum 4″ x 1 1/4″ Medium
Considering the debate regarding women’s reproductive rights going on in various governments right now – I’m surprised no one has caught on to this idea… you see, for approximately $10 on ebay you can actually buy a vaginal speculum for your own personal collection. Next time some politician tries to tell you what to do with your vagina, whip it out of your purse, and shove it in their mouth. (Note: Please do not hold me responsible if you get arrested for this, but please take pictures.)
2. (#W-4) 4″ – 4-1/2″ KANGAROO SCROTUM Leather POUCH coin purse WEIRD ball bag hide
The thing that really gets me about these kangaroo scrotum pouches is that the listing says, “Item comes with ID card as well.” Is that the ID of the kangaroo who’s balls you currently are holding in your hand? Or a fake ID card for you? I’m not sure, but I’m sure if you’re trying to get rid of a boyfriend you could couple this with the chastity belt above and they’d probably run screaming from your house.
1. Bathroom Prank FAKE CRAP TURD – Human Poop-GAG JOKE-VERY FUNNY
So, your best frienemy is having a party at her house and the guy that you’re trying to get to go home with you is paying too much attention to her. No worries, wait until she goes to the bathroom and slip in after here, leaving the fake crap turd on the toilet. The next guest that goes in will see it and freak out, leaving her completely embarrassed until they realize it is fake – at which point you take the credit for the awesome practical joke and the guy goes home with you – because honestly, what guy wouldn’t fall for a girl who carries around a fake turd in her purse?
Sound off in the comments – what hilariously ridiculous stuff have you found on Ebay?